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"Um, I think there is a lake on our table," I announce, patting the soggy tablecloth before me. I'm certainly guilty of the odd spilt drink – usually red wine, on my white shirt – but this is a whole new level of puddle.
It's just the kind of risk you're taking when you sign up to eat in complete darkness.
My friend Sharni and I are at the opening night of Dans Le Noir (French for 'dining in the dark') at The Como Melbourne. The concept launched in Paris in 2004 and has since been experienced by 1.5 million people in cities like Paris, London and Madrid. This is the first time it's come to Australia, promising to challenge us to eat with our tastebuds not our eyes.
Two entrees, a main and dessert are served and I begin stabbing my fork around the plate to try find morsels of food before realising it's way more fun to use my fingers to locate the different textures. There's crunchy, stringy bits, tender cuts of meat, creamy sauces and a rich dessert that have us dissecting and reflecting as we try to work out what's on the plate.
In the #instafood world we inhabit, it's refreshing to experience food for just what it is. Forget the people watching and phone scrolling that seeps into many of our foodie experiences. Here, all you've got is great food and rich conversation. How delicious.